


For the Future

by aflawedfashion



Series: Moving Forward - Amanda & Irisa Post-Season 3 [4]
Category: Defiance (TV)
Genre: Female Friendship, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 22:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13511505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aflawedfashion/pseuds/aflawedfashion
Summary: Irisa and Amanda's friendship grows as they look to the future.





	For the Future

Conversation and soft music swirled in the air of the brightly lit Castithan cafe as Amanda sipped tea from an oversized mug. Amanda loved the atmosphere. Irisa did not. Perched across from Amanda, Irisa seemed ready to fly from her seat at any moment, but it was Amanda’s turn to choose the restaurant. Last week, Irisa had bought them scones from a bakery with a balcony overlooking the town. Next week, she would undoubtedly choose a strange, dark location in an act of revenge, but Amanda wouldn’t complain. She’d show up armed to fight hellbugs if needed. They had a deal.

“Did you ever want children,” Irisa asked, breaking Amanda away from her thoughts. At least she hadn’t asked for Amanda’s opinions on hellbug hunting.

“No.” Amanda stifled a surprised laugh. She hadn’t anticipated starting her day with deep personal reflection, but it was an easy question to answer. “There was never a place in my life for children. I never wanted them.” She took a sip from her mug. “Why do you ask?”

“You’ve been so nice to me since Nolan left.” Irisa paused to glare at a group of teenagers barging past their table. “You ask me about my life, you invite me to drinks after work, and you take me out for tea every week. You never worked this hard for me until my father left the planet.”

Amanda smiled, ignoring the twinge of sadness in the pit of her stomach. “I’m that transparent, huh.”

“Yes,” Irisa stated. “And it makes me wonder if you ever wanted kids of your own.”

“Well, you’re not a child.” Amanda leaned forward, resting her arm on the table. “Which is a good thing for both of us because I am terrible with kids. I survived nights babysitting Christie by reminding myself that I could hand her back to Rafe after a few hours.”

Irisa leaned back in her chair, staring at Amanda with an unnerving intensity.

“What?” Amanda shifted in her seat. “Something in my teeth?”

“It’s just that I never thought I’d see you pretend to be modest.”

“And you never will.” Amanda straightened her shoulders. “I am an excellent mayor and a great shot,” she knit her eyebrows together, “but I am genuinely terrible with children.”

“You can’t be that bad. You raised Kenya by yourself.”

“That was different. The entire world was different.” Amanda wrapped her hands around her mug, absorbing the warmth. She remembered playing childish games with Kenya, trying to create a life for her baby sister that didn’t involve war and destruction. “I was still a kid myself. I thought I was an adult, but I wasn’t.”

Irisa reached for her tea. “It’s funny how everything’s different when you look back on it.”

“Yeah,” Amanda said. “It is.”

“I never imagined I’d end up here, living in a town, having tea with the mayor.” A nostalgic smile crossed Irisa’s face, but her eyes betrayed a long-suffering sadness. “Not that I ever imagined the future much. Didn’t seem realistic to think about it.”

”I know what you mean.” Amanda gently shook her head, remembering how foolish her own dreams seemed. “But it was all I ever thought about. At first, I wanted to be an astronaut. Then, I was determined to become the first female president of the United States. Eventually, as the world fell apart, I dreamed of finishing high school, but not one of those dreams would ever become a reality. New York was bombed, and raising Kenya became my sole purpose in life. Everything else was secondary.”

“See, that’s what I mean,” Irisa said. “I think that makes you a pretty chupping good big sister. A chupping good parent.”

“Ok, fine, maybe you’re right. I worked my ass off to take care of Kenya.” Heat rose in Amanda’s body, her words snapping more than she intended. “I wanted to be her sister, not her parent, but I raised her because I had to, not out of choice. Now I have a choice.”

“And you choose not to have kids.”

“Exactly.”

Irisa nodded, and Amanda felt a twinge of regret over her tone. She hadn’t meant to get that defensive.

“It’s not just you who I’ve been thinking about,” Irisa said, thankfully moving the conversation away from Amanda’s life. “I see Alak with Luke, and I’ve been thinking about what I want from my life.”

Amanda’s stomach flipped as she realized the meaning behind their conversation. “You want to have kids,” she said through a breath.

Irisa nodded, a giddy nervousness in her face. “I think I want to adopt someday, not today, but someday.” Irisa’s eyes grew brighter every second. “Like Nolan did for me.” Her words rushed together. “Too many children need families, and I could give them one. My life could have meaning.”

“That’s a fantastic idea.” Amanda’s heart swelled. “I’m so proud of you, and I know your father would be too.”

“Thank you.” Irisa looked into her tea, her voice growing soft. “And if my father doesn’t come back, I don’t want to be the last Nolan on Earth. Live or die together doesn’t work so well when all of space is between you and the only other Nolan.”

“You will be an amazing mother.” Bittersweet tears stung the corners of Amanda’s eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “And maybe, just maybe, this town will stay safe enough that you can update your family motto.”

Irisa looked up at Amanda, her wide eyes gleaming. “Live or die together doesn’t make much sense in the real world.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“This horrible cafe, us, here… this is real life, not running from hellbugs and having a gun held to your head so many times it seems normal. My 17 year old self would hate me for saying that, but it’s true.”

Amanda glanced at the ceiling. “I guess I can rule out ever living in the real world.” It had been exactly three weeks and four days since someone last threatened to kill her. She was overdue for another attempt on her life. “But I put my life at risk so children don’t have to grow up like I did.”

“And you’ll still spend Sundays with me even if I have an obnoxious kid?”

“For you, and only you,” Amanda squeezed Irisa’s hand, “I will spend Sundays with a loud, screaming child.”

Irisa teased Amanda with her smile. “You can babysit while I make pancakes for breakfast.”

“Oh…” Amanda pulled back, a smile etched on her face. She couldn’t stop smiling if she tried. “I never said anything about morning.”

“Fine.” Irisa rolled her eyes the same way Nolan did when Amanda said she wanted to outlaw working before 9 am. Like father like daughter. “We’ll have pancake brunches.”

“Deal.”

“Good.” Irisa gave Amanda a single nod of her head. “I’m going to get some more tea,” she added, disappearing into the cafe.

Amanda stared into the crowd, drinking the remainder of her tea in silence. Her whole body buzzed with happiness. She had dedicated her life to giving people like Irisa the future they deserved. Some days she lost hope. Some days she forgot what she was fighting for, but she’d never forget again. She would never stop fighting for Irisa’s future.


End file.
